Faith so Small

Verse:  You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt
offerings.  My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise - Psalms 51:16-17

Topic: How can I be truly set free?

Personal Piece:  This week I came to the end of a seven year journey.  I officially put the finishing touches on a novel I have been working on since my freshman year of college.  What started off as a fun writing exercise between me a few other authors turned into a personal journey of healing and a series of very powerful and emotional encounters with God.  Sometimes we have to dive into the deepest, darkest parts of ourselves in order to truly appreciate the light of his love.  I hope it never takes me so long to write another book but I know that the journey was the whole point.  I went on the same journey as my characters did and I wasn't able to write the final words until I found the same freedom that they did.  Now I am moving on to new revelations and new understandings but that doesn't mean that this lesson should be forgotten.  This story will forever be a reminder of my quest for freedom just as I hope it will help many others find that same freedom.  Today I want to share a little of what I learned during this journey...

Thought of the Week:  If I were to choose a theme verse for my novel it would be Matthew 17:20 which is a rather popular verse about faith to move mountains. This week I ready Luke 17:6 which is very similar but with one major difference.  Check it out: "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you". So what's the significance of a mulberry tree.  Many of Jesus' listeners had probably heard the popular Greek legend of how the blood of two lovers had stained the mulberry fruit when they died beneath a mulberry tree.  And in those days the mulberry tree was a popular tree used for making caskets.  So for Jesus listeners at that time the mulberry tree would have brought forth images of death.  Which would have brought a heavy perspective to the importance of forgiveness and the power of faith.

Mulberry trees have very deep roots.  It would not be an easy feat to uproot a mulberry tree, even with today's equipment.  The writer of Hebrews warns his readers not to allow a "root of bitterness" to grow up within their hearts.  In Micah 7:19 it says that God will throw our sins into the depth of the sea.  Jesus was teaching his disciples about forgiveness and then made this statement about the mulberry tree.  He was telling his listeners that no matter how small their faith, no weight of death and no bondage of bitterness could keep them from his love and forgiveness.  That in essence is the theme of my novel.  He was telling them that with the smallest of trust in him, the enemy would HAVE to obey.

I guess you could say that the above revelation is the conclusion of my journey.  For 22 years I dealt with a deep root of bitterness.  They say that depression is anger turned inward and for me anger was not something that was allowed to be expressed.  As a child I was taught that anger was unacceptable and so I internalized my frustrations and turned my anger toward myself.  The harshness of anger didn't stay with me forever but anger that is not released and dealt with eventually turns to bitterness and bitterness has a root as deep as the mulberry tree.

When we refuse to forgive and hold onto our anger it grows into a tree that is worthy of the dead.  For me God had to expose the other deep roots in my life, roots of not only anger but pride, addiction, guilt, fear, doubt, jealousy and confusion.  I had to separate myself from those roots and because I'm a writer they developed names and personalities and took on a life of their own.  These characters fought the darkness in the same way that I was fighting in my mind and they had revelations of God that brought them to freedom.

For seven years I fought to dig out those roots but found it impossible, then I had the revelation of this verse and it's true meaning.  Faith so small!  We can't do it alone, we can never do it alone.  One of my favorite revelations is shown in a scene where one of the main characters has a vision of Jesus. He sees Jesus stretching his hand out to him but he is being pulled back by the enemy and he can't get away.  Jesus asks him if he wants to be free and he tells him that of course he does.  But after Jesus asks him again he realizes that he is the one holding onto the demon, he's the one keeping himself in darkness.

Such a powerful reminder to me.  I go back and read it on a regular basis just to remind myself that no matter how powerful God is he still limits himself to my consent.  My freewill gets in the way far too often and if I'm not careful my own quest for freedom and my pursuit of rights will put me right back in the cage.  I don't want to ever go back to that.  I want to stay in Christ's presence forever.  I want to follow his rules but I don't want to be a slave to them either.  I want to be a slave to him and him only and follow his rules out of an expression of my heart for him not out of duty to human expectations.

You too can find this freedom.  God extends it to all who are willing to reach out and take his hand. He doesn't withhold it but he doesn't force it on us either.  Far too often we enjoy our slavery far more than we would ever admit, even to ourselves.  We pretend we are free because we do not want to admit that we are wandering around in desperation.  Lost and confused, holding onto guilt and fear, unwilling to let go of our addictions and anger, consumed by pride and jealousy.  Meanwhile Jesus is standing in the light stretching his hand into the darkness and asking "Do you want to be free?"

Digging Deeper: Below are some links that I used in my research on the Mulberry tree.  The connection between this passage and Hebrews was initially heard in a Mike Bickle sermon while I was at the International House of Prayer.

Symbolism in other Cultures

The Legend of Pyramus and Thesbe (The inspiration behind Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream)

Jesus and the Casket Tree

Mulberry Roots in relation to the Bible

Scientific Examination of Roots

COMING SOON: OPERATION RAINBOW - A novel about freedom from the heaviest chains through the smallest of faith.

Challenge:  Name the negative roots in your heart and start the process of letting them go.  Talk to someone about what you're dealing with, don't go through it alone but most importantly know that God loves you and is there to help you.  Meditate on Luke 17:6 and Psalms 51:16-17 (both presented above).  The number one thing God wants above all else is you to come before him with a broken heart.  He wants you to reach the end of yourself so that you have no other choice but to take his hand.  My challenge for you this week is for you to reach out and take his hand and let him do the rest.