Verse: There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. - 1 John 4:18Topic: Is God punishing me?
Personal Piece: When I was growing up, I hated roller coasters. I hated the feeling you get in your stomach when the ground drops out from under you and your plummeting at 80 mph toward the ground and even worse the horrible anticipation as you climb slooooowly into the sky knowing when you hit the top you're going to fall. As I've gotten older, I've developed a love/hate relationship with the contraptions. I still hate the feeling of falling and the climbing has given me minor panic attacks on more than one occasion. So why do I keep going on them?
Thought of the Week: Life can be such a roller coaster sometimes. So many ups and downs and twists and turns that jolt us this way and that. Sometimes they're bigger than we imagined and keep going long after we thought they'd be done. Others are short but follow in quick succession of each other. Sometimes the drops are hardly more than bumps in the road but sometimes they are plummeting ninety degree drops that take your breath away and leave you wondering why you ever thought strapping yourself into that monster. When we get to the end, heart pumping, gasping for breath...smile on our face(?) we long for the next one. Why?
I think it has something to do with our inner desire for adventure, the thrill of facing our fears and knowing we're strong enough to beat them. The sense of accomplishment that comes with tackling a roller coaster that was bigger than the last one. It's in our nature, it's why we find amusement in a park designed around one of our basest fears (no one likes falling). It's why we play sports that we know could hurt us physically, it's why we take the first step in relationships that know can hurt us emotionally, it's why we take tests that we know can define our future, and go to interviews for jobs that might fall through. We take risks and face the fear of rejection in the hopes that what comes after will be worth it.
Of course this doesn't make the "Roller Coasters of Life" any less terrifying. Sitting across from an interviewer or manager who holds your career in your hands is still daunting. So are first dates, big games, important tests, and and confronting friends. We do them because we must and we do them to move forward. If you're in an amusement park you don't sit on the sidewalk and wait for your friends to return. You don't stand in the line and then skip to the exit when you get there. It gets boring if you only ride the Ferris Wheel and Merry-Go-Round. Circles get old real fast when all your friends are riding coasters.
It's the same with our lives we have to go through some ups-and-downs to really experience what life has to offer. We have to take risks and just as we trust the metal bars that hold the coaster in the air, we have to trust our all-powerful God to hold us up when we take some leaps. Thankfully he's much more reliable than some bits of metal. God didn't design us to ride the Merry-Go-Round all our lives (though he does give us pockets of rest on occasion). He created us each for a unique adventure design only for us.
All my life I've been taught that God gives each person different experiences. We shouldn't compare what he's doing in our lives to what he's doing in others. He knows the best way to each of our hearts and has a unique way of communicating with each of us. But lately I've learned that he takes it even a step farther. God doesn't communicate with us the same way that he used to. What does that mean? Well, it means that if you've been a Christian for any length of time (20 years in my case) then you're probably not the same person you were when you first gave your life to Jesus. If you're not the same person then God's not going to communicate with you the same way.
Some people get confused because they know that God is supposed to be the same "yesterday, today and forever" (Heb 13:8). They wonder why they can't hear God anymore when they're doing the same things they used to do in high school and giving God the same amount of time they gave him last year when all those great things were happening. At least that's what happened to me. But then I realized that God isn't the one who's changed. I am! I'm not in high school or college anymore, I don't have the same understanding of God. He hasn't changed but I have gotten to know him better and as I've matured he's revealed more of himself to me and that's changed the dynamics of our relationship in a variety of different ways.
If you can't hear God it doesn't mean that he's punishing you. Jesus doesn't accuse us, we do a pretty good job of that ourselves (John 5:45). Jesus doesn't need to punish us, our own sin does a fine job of sentencing us. He came only to love us and show us a better way. He came to show us how to walk in this life and he's not disappointed when we stumble. He's not disappointed when we choose the Merry-Go-Round for the seventeenth time because you're still nervous about trying something bigger. And he doesn't ask us to go on a roller coaster when we're still to scared to go on the Ferris Wheel. He takes our hand and says "To take our time". He doesn't care that he paid $60 dollars to sit on the sidewalk and eat cotton candy. He just wants to spend time with you. He chooses to go at our pace, he chooses to meet you where you're at, he chooses to rejoice in our accomplishments even if they seem silly in the long run. He chooses us and that is the most beautiful and mysterious adventure of all.
Digging Deeper: This entry was inspired by Parable of the Prodigal Son found in Luke 15:11-34. Specifically the part where the Father grants his sons request and gives him his inheritance. Though the son spoke deeply insulting words to his father, and his father knew he would squander everything, he did not hold it against him in the slightest. He knew that his son needed to go on this journey and that it would give him a new understanding of his father's love for him. Thankfully for us, God goes on the journey with us.
Challenge: We all have a lot of ups-and-downs in our lives, sometimes the beauty the beauty of the journey can be paled by the threat of danger surrounding us. Take some time to appreciate the things in your life that are going great. If you're in a good place right now embrace and enjoy it because nothing comes to stay. If you're in a bad place right now thank God for the way he is growing you right now and remember that nothing comes to stay. Ask what God is teaching you in this time. Whether a "good time" or a "bad time" God is always revealing more of himself to us. We must only dare to pay attention.
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