Verse: "Look you scoffers, wonder and perish, for I am going to do something in your days that you would never believe, even if someone told you" - Acts 13:41Topic: Could God have made a mistake?
Personal Piece: These past two weeks have been quite the adventure for me. Over the course of Passover week I went through a major time of fasting which ended this past Tuesday. It was a much needed time of spiritual refreshing as I took some time to unplug from the things of this world and plug into his love. I came away with a lot of clarity about my future in this coming year and my next steps. Some of you are aware that I was planning a six-month internship starting in July. Well God made it very clear to me that the internship is not in his plan. Even though I know that I would learn a lot doing the internship, there are other things that God has in store for me in this season of life that I would not achieve moving to Kansas City.
Thought of the Week: These past two weeks I have read a number of stories in both the old and new testaments about people who were given difficult callings. Joshua was called to fill Moses' shoes by leading a bunch of shepherds into war. Peter who was still rather rough around the edges was called to head up an entire movement after Jesus himself departed. Gideon was called to lead a mere 300 men into war against an army of well over 1000. Paul had already arrested and stoned hundreds of Christians when he was called to preach the good news to the nations.
All four of these men were given a calling beyond what they thought they could handle, in fact Gideon argued with God for a solid two days in the hopes that he had heard him wrong or that he would change his mind. Peter protested for the entirety of Jesus' three year ministry. Paul had to stand against a lot of opposition from people who believed Jesus was only for the Jews and Joshua had to make very hard decisions in order to keep the Israelites set apart as holy. I'm sure there were many days when these men looked up to the heavens and asked God if maybe he had made a mistake. Wondering why he had chosen them to fulfill this particular task when they had so many flaws, wondering if maybe they had heard God wrong, wondering and probably hoping that other spiritual leaders were actually right.
I know I have had those same thoughts over the course of this last year. I have been working for the same chain-restaurant for the past 7 years, 3 weeks and 2 days (I know cause it just popped up on my Facebook Memories), I have 3 degrees and a world of possibilities (not to mention a world of pressure) all telling me to get out, find a job with benefits and a steady salary, and get on with my life. And yet, every time I get out I feel even more lost. On February 8, 2016 I had a dream where God very clearly told me to go back to Chick-fil-A. But the pressure became too much for me and I tried to leave. Instead I went on a 6 week sabbatical where God confirmed to me again that Chick-fil-A was where I was meant to be.
Despite all the confirmations God has given me, I have still only been able to see my own rough edges, my own poor resources and talents, my own past screw-ups and when I take my eyes off of me all I see is a bunch of people who seem to be a heck of a lot more qualified then me. But that's just the problem isn't it. I'm not qualified...by earthly standards. I've made mistakes, say stupid things and have a rather short fuse. But somehow, someway God has looked past all that and seen something beautiful. It's the same things he saw in Joshua, Peter, Gideon, and Paul. Willingness. I don't know how it's all going to work out but if I can manage to take my eyes off myself for 10-seconds and take a look into his, I might get a picture of what he has in mind.
I know a lot of times we as Christians can get really caught up in the here-and-now. We can forget that there is something greater out there. We can forget that there are others just past our self-centered bubble. As humans, part of our sin nature is to want what's best for ourselves. We rarely, if ever, make decisions that don't further our ultimate goals. We rarely do anything without an ulterior motive. But if we have the spirit of God within us (which we do if we have made a commitment to follow him) then the only motives we should even have at all should be his.
In the last few months, I have had numerous conversations with a couple of my friends about pride and how literally EVERYTHING sprouts from it. Pride is the good feeling someone gets from something that they have achieved. It's rooted 100% in a person's own abilities and their own power to make themselves feel good. When those successes turn into failures a person's entire self-esteem is rocked leading to depression and anxiety and in some cases extreme mental illnesses and even suicide. All because a person had their eyes on the idol of self rather than on the holiness of God. It is no wonder that so many people struggle with their identity and wonder if God could have made a mistake when he created them.
There is a difference between pride and confidence. Confidence is the belief that one can rely on someone or something or is certain about the truth of something. A third definition (A feeling of self-assurance that arises from an appreciation of ones own abilities) sounds a lot like pride but the difference of one word makes a humbling difference. Where pride brings pleasure, confidence brings appreciation. True confidence comes from knowing we can rely on God and his truth and it comes from humbly appreciating the gifts and talents he has given us as a testament to his goodness not our own. Confidence allows us to have a high opinion of ourselves without taking our eyes off the one who made us that way. It gives us permission to look at ourselves and learn our strengths and weaknesses so that we can be of greater use when he calls. Confidence accepts that we are different and flawed but can still lift it's head to heaven knowing that he is the only one who can fill in the gaps. I don't know about you but confidence sounds like a much better deal.
Digging Deeper: For a deeper look at the lives of the four men mentioned in this entry check out the following passages:
Joshua - The book of Joshua
Gideon - Judges 6-8
Peter - Acts and various passages in the gospels
Paul - Acts (starting in chapter 9) and most books in the New Testament
An extra illustration God gave me yesterday but was unable to fit in the entry: There is a marriage illustration of the husband being the head and the wife being the neck. He leads but she's the one who turns him in right direction. In the bible we as the church are called the bride of Christ and as such he is the head and we are the neck. The head still houses the brain which tells the neck where to go but if the neck is in rebellion the head cannot move. In the same way God will not move in our lives if we are not in submission to him. The neck is merely the pedestal that exalts the head and yet the head also relies on the neck. God also relies on us to do our part in drawing eyes to him rather than ourselves. He relies on us to be in unity with him so that we are going in the same direction rather than in circles. In turn we rely on him to give us the information and nourishment we need to fulfill our callings.
To see how Paul compared the church to a body check out 1 Corinthians chapter 12:12-31. This chapter is a great launching point for discovering your own divine calling.
Challenge: For those who want to build confidence in their lives I have an exercise for you that I use whenever I'm feeling low. My challenge is to try it out this week and see if it helps. If you try it out let me know in the comments.
1.Take some time to write down all the negative things you see in your self. If you're like the majority of people in the world you are probably well aware of your own faults because you sub-consciously recite them to yourself on a daily basis. Writing is a great way to trigger the brain into a processing and healing mode. Acknowledging even those most petty or embarrassing issues on paper is important in moving forward.
2.After you write out your list, write over it in big letters PAID IN FULL and destroy it. I usually rip it to shreds but on occassion I have had opportunity to burn the paper in a bonfire and that is my favorite. The physical destruction of the paper helps to trigger the mind to let go of what was written on it. If I'm ripping or cutting the paper I will usually do one point at a time and say a prayer over each one telling God that I am now letting go of this issue and will need his help to replace it with something of his.
3. Now write a new list of all the positive things you see in yourself. Use words that replace the old words (ex. depression/joy, pride/humility, anxiety/courage, self-hate/confidence). Ask God to show you what he sees in you and as you write tell yourself that these things are true of you. You don't have to be that person some day you can can be that person today. Remember that Jesus died so that those things on the first list would be forever forgotten. He has already forgotten them and now you should too.
4. Keep the list near you, choose 2 or 3 elements to focus on, find encouraging verses and leave notes around your house and car reminding you of who you really are. Read the truth often until it becomes your mantra, memorize the verses and recite them throughout the day. Whatever you do remember that the second list is the truth of who you are and the first is merely the lies that Satan wants to distract you with. The more you replace pride with confidence the more those other things will melt away.
5. Act on your new identity. Your identity makes your calling clearer and now that you've cleaned up your life enough to see it, it's time to act on it. I'm sure you know by now that the mind is a fickle thing that changes by the day. Things we knew yesterday are forgotten and lies we threw away sneak back in. Action on the other hand makes those thoughts concrete. It's a lot harder to change a mindset, once it's linked with a habit so think through some concrete things you can do to turn those positive traits into truth. (ex. want more joy - make 3 people smile, more kindness - listen to 3 peoples day w/o interruption, humility - 3 anonymous acts of kindness).
6. Repeat as needed. Don't get discouraged or give up when the lies sneak back in just try again. You're never a failure until you've stopped trying.
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